Monday, September 13, 2010

Government- Run Facebook

The next time you're irritated by Facebook or Mark Zuckerberg just remember it could be worse, the Federal government could be running it. It could have happened something like this...

After considerable debate, Congress passes the Universal Facebook Act of 2010 and is launched.

Obama goes golfing. Biden announces that Bush deserves the credit.

Initially, participation in is voluntary but quickly becomes compulsory as the Feds realize that some Americans, fearing a loss of privacy, are opting out of Facebook.

The Tweet Party is born.

In a rare Oval Office address to the nation, Obama announces the creation of the Department of Facebook Security (FBS) to oversee the daily operations of No one watches.

Congress passes the No Facebook Left Behind Act (NFLB Act) requiring all users over the age of five to log on to every day and write "present" as their status. ( The Amish are exempt.)

Users who fail to post "present" for three consecutive days receive a comment on their wall from a truancy offer with the Department of FBS. Three unexcused absences requires the user to do 100 hours of community service and "like" the IRS.

Hidden within the NFLB Act is a provision allowing all government workers to take a mandatory one-hour Facebook break every half-hour. (Obama is exempt.)

Obama goes golfing. Biden is excited because he finally has something to do and logs on to

The American Facebook Liberty Union (AFLU) files a lawsuit against the Department of FBS citing separation of church and state after reading a religious status on SpunkyHomeschool praising God for the right to home educate.

Spunky -vs- AFLU goes all the way to the Supreme Court of the United States.

In a landmark decision, the court decides against Spunky and all Christian language and symbols are purged from

Obama goes golfing. Biden "likes" Sarah Palin and becomes mayor of YoVille.

In protest, the Tweet Party hosts a "Restore the Wall" march on DC. Palin, Beck, and Spunky update their status with the words "In God We Trust" in front of the Capitol Building.

Instantly, millions of users copy and paste "In God We Trust" as their own status, temporarily shutting down

Sensing a threat to her status, Nancy Pelosi forces Congress into an emergency session to pass the Facebook Neutrality Act (more widely known as the Palin Pill) limiting all users to a 100 friends max at and no more than 20 comments per post. (Biden is exempt)

Obama goes golfing. Biden accepts a friend request from Paris Hilton but ignores Hillary Clinton.

First lady, Michelle Obama, launches "Operation Mini-Feed" against Facebook induced obesity and requires all Facebook users to post their BMI monthly to insure that users are getting enough exercise and not just sitting on Facebook all day drinking lattes.

Anyone attempting to deactivate their account receives an unannounced home visit by the FBBI (Facebook Bureau of Intelligence) demanding they friend Joe Biden and watch a video of Obama giving a two-hour speech before the Counsel of Facebook Relations.

Unexpectedly, illegal users begin to cross the wi-fi border and log on to The Department of FBS requires all statuses to be written in English and Spanish..

Frustrated users update "No Comprendo" and refuse to "friend" the illegals.

The Department of FBS is eventually forced to admit that the servers cannot handle the influx of new users but staunchly refuses to secure the wi-fi border with a firewall and deactivate all illegal users.

Obama goes golfing. Biden "likes" Rush Limbaugh's wedding photos and wonders if SwagBucks are considered taxable income.

Congress revises NFLB adding a provision requiring all users over the age of 40 to appear before a Facebook Deactivation Panel that decides which users are allowed to remain active. All users over the age of 50 are immediately deactivated.

Obama goes golfing. Biden's account has been deactivated.

Saturday, September 04, 2010

Race For the Test

As I have previously predicted many times over the last five years, the push for a national test will quickly follow the passage of Common Core State Standards. That day has finally come. With a $330 million carrot dangling in front of one group of states and another consortium of states receiving $170 million, the federal government is wasting no time bribing cash-strapped states into replacing their individual state exams with one national test.
Exams in math and English would be rolled out across the country in 44 participating states for the 2014-2015 school year. When that happens, state tests that cost billions to produce would become obsolete
And once states have adopted a common national test, the next move will be toward common curriculum and a single national diploma. Not surprisingly, the foundation is already in place to introduce a credentialed national diploma by ACHIEVE. ACHIEVE is the same organization that was heavily involved with the development of Common Core State Standards. (For more info on credentialed diplomas see The Employability Olympics.) ACHIEVE was also selected as the project manager for PARCC, one of consortium of states awarded the federal funds.

This is not welcome news and in the long run spells T-R-O-U-B-L-E for homeschoolers and should be vehemently opposed by conservatives and homeschoolers. But time is quickly running out. Where are the national speakers and organizations rallying against the federal take over of education? Shouldn't this at least be as big an issue as healthcare, auto bailouts, or immigration?

Remember, what is tested is what is taught. What is taught is what is thought. Does anyone really want the thinking of DC politicians to be the thoughts of your children? Aren't our children's minds just as important as the car we drive?