Monday, July 31, 2006

Global Homeschooling

A new global crisis threatens the stability of political climates around the world.

After repeated attempts by those in the scientific and educational communities to deny its existence, the evidence is irrefutable - global homeschooling is real. It's an "inconvenient truth" for some to accept, but global homeschooling exists and threatens the delicate balance of power in the politIcal climate worldwide. In unbelievably record high numbers, parents are taking back control of their childrens' education. Educators are baffled by the trend but confirm that the numbers are indeed rising every year.

Anonymous sources believe that global homeschooling is undermining the socialist trend in our nation and elsewhere by promoting complete freedom of thought and expression. Some of the more obvious effects of global homeschooling are children smiling and playing during "school hours", mothers leaving lucrative careers to stay home and raise their children, and in perhaps the most frightening sign, children are actually expressing a belief in God.

The United Nothings has issued a brief on behalf of many world leaders. They are demanding a world wide summit in Seattle, to discuss the effects of global homeschooling on the political climate and have recommended an aggressive strategy to solve the crisis - the Seattle Protocol. World education experts praised the political will of the leaders to preserve their education monopolies by putting an end to global homeschooling. But most believe it will take years to undo the damage done by the ridiculous notion that parents can successfully teach their own children, countering experts who claim, "it takes a village to raise a child." A generation of childrens' hearts have been reawakened to the Truth and to the joy of learning. What took years for education experts to destroy is being slowly rebuilt one child - one home at a time.

The first step to defeat global homeschooling outlined in the Seattle Protocol is to create an international standard for education. All curriculum and testing will be based on this standard. Conformity of thought will be highly rewarded. College entrance, scholarships, and job placement will be dependent upon successful mastery of certain "necessary" skills. In an unprecedented move, United Nothings has teamed up with computer tycoon turned philanthropist, Gil Bates, to create the international standards and develop state-of-the art education centers around the world. The UN is hopeful that the international community will rally behind this alliance and allow them free access to the minds and hearts of their children.

The second step in the Seattle Protocol is to intimidate parents already contributing to the blight of global homeschooling. Using such devices as the Convention on the Ignorance of Parents, the United Nothings hopes to lure children back into the government system of indoctrination. Most nations have already ratified the Convention. However, the biggest offender in global homeschooling, the United States, has not . Without the support of the United States, controlling global homeschooling will be difficult if not impossible. Unfortunately, the current administration appears oblivious to the threat and remains uncooperative. However, in a hopeful sign, the President appears very commited to national standards and leaving no child behind.

Noted expert, Al Bore has also been called upon to lead the public relations campaign in the fight against global homeschooling. His experience and success in ending a similar crisis many believe will be invaluable in controlling global homeschooling. Appearing on This Week with George Spunkanopolus, Mr. Bore said, "The debate is over, global homeschooling exits. We are in a planetary emergency."

We at Spunky Homeschool want to do our part to raise awareness about the effects of global homeschooling. Please forward this message to everyone you know. If we each do a little, together we can accomplish a lot.

(Author's Note: Any resemblance to actual people, places, or events is purely intentional.)

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