Sunday, November 06, 2005

The New "Miranda" Ruling

Last week, the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals handed down a controversial ruling in a case involving the parents of elementary age students.

Apparently, the court ruled that once a parent has enrolled their children in the government schools, the parents only have one right. The right to remain silent.

Therefore, I propose that all parents be informed of their rights before they enroll their child in school. Similar to when an arrest is made and they are read their "Miranda" rights. It could go something like this,

Parent or legal guardian; As you enroll your child in our government system of state indoctrination we are required to inform you of your rights...

You have the right to remain silent. Do you understand?

Everything you say and do will be ignored anyway. So don't waste your breath. Do you understand?

You have the right to an attorney. But don't waste your money either. Most judges are on our side. They know how they got elected or appointed. Long live the NEA! Do you understand?

You have no right to due process or privacy. Just bake cookies (no nuts please!) and attend the PTO meetings and we'll get along just fine. Do you understand?

You have no right to object to any material we present to your child. Everything we teach is pursuant to legitimate educational as well as health and welfare interests of the state. Do you understand?

We will use the full power of the court to establish that the interests of the state are more important than your interest as a parent. All at tax payer expense. (That means you.) Do you understand?

We realize that it may seem awkward to give up control of your child's education. But think about how many more hours in the day you will now be free to pursue your own interests. More importantly, the state is now free teach your child exactly what he needs to do to be a good worker in the global economy. Congratulations! You have just been liberated from your primary obligation as a parent. Go in peace.

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