Sparrow's post about her trials made me go back in the journals of my mind to a some of the stuggles I had with my own young son.
I have one son who, at times, seems to be a lightning rod for controversy. He has a very black and white approach to life. (I think that might be genetic!) This often creates a super charged atmosphere. He's grown into his temperment over the years. And while we still have conflicts he's now nearly 15 and by God's grace we have overcome alot. But I'll never forget the the day many years back....
It was a long day with 5 small children in the house. The temperature outside was near zero with a wind chill to match, going outside was not possible. I tried to keep them busy and active but my son just kept pushing the limits of his energy and my patience. Some days were pure survival. And this was one of them. Even the "fun" things didn't seem to go well. Conlict and chaos seemed to rule the day. And my son was the king of the chaos. I found myself getting more and more frustrated and probably raising my voice a few too many times. To be honest I just wanted it all to end. Anxiously, I kept my eye on the clock. (My husband was out of town.)
Finally, they were all in bed. I was exhausted. I made the rounds to each bed. Prayed and gave each a kiss and hug. And shut the door on this "eventful "day. Hoping that tomorrow would be better.
"Mommy!" called my son.
"Go to bed." I shouted back.
"Mommy! I need to tell you something." He persisted.
"It will have to wait until tomorrow." I said determined not to give in.
"It can't, I have to tell you NOOOOWWWW!"
(An inner war began inside of me. Don't give it he'll manipulate you for life. Go ahead, one time won't matter. I stood there arguing with myself. My mother heart eventually won.)
Opening his door, I said, "Okay, what is so important that you have to tell me tonight?"
He smiled undeterred by my harhshness, "Do you know what I do every night after you give me a kiss and leave the room?" (My mind could think of a few things but I didn't want to give him any ideas.)
"I take your kiss and rub it into my heart for safe keeping. That's where I store all your kisses." (As he rubbed his hand on his mouth and then over his chest.)
My heart melted and I gave my son a few more kisses to store in his collection. Thankful that my mother's heart won this argument and so did my son.