Wednesday, September 14, 2005

The Pearls Respond to the Blogs

In their latest newsletter the Pearls respond to the negative comments and/or reviews of "Created to Be His Helpmeet" that have cropped up in the blogosphere. Here is the question from a reader of the book and her concerns, to which the the Pearls respond under the title, "A Blogging We Must Go."

My friends and I been reading "Created To Be His Help Meet." We have been greatly blessed by this book. In response to our "mini-reviews" of the book, there has been a rash of ladies who have quite vehemently suggested that it promotes a husbands abusing of his wife, even suggesting that Mr. Pearl has been abusing you, Mrs. Pearl. We are outraged. My question to you, Mr. and Mrs. Pearl, is this: What would be the best manner of handling the misinformation being spread about "Created To Be His Help Meet" and the mischaracterization of your personal lives? It is diffcult to sit back and watch hundreds of women buy into these malicious messages.

A friend

Dear friends,

Please be advised: I am not abused or mistreated, nor do I advocate that any woman should be abused or mistreated. I am treated like a queen, and my book is a study on how to cause your husband to want to treat you like a queen. Judging from the thousands of letters we have received, the book has been VERY successful in causing women everywhere to be revered by their husbands. But since we have heard from several people who are truly concerned about the nonsense being spread in "blogville", we have asked, Kathy Slayman, (her call name on blogsville is GJorderslady) a long-time friend (she watched our children grow up and also sees Mike and me on a daily basis) to blog for us each day. So, if you want to know any piece of personal stuff about the lady who wrote Created to be His Help Meet or the man who inspired the book, go to: Then blog back to the bloggers in blogsville, and prayerfully explain to them that what they say is NONSENSE and that you know because you have the scoop from someone in the know.

It is unfortunate that the anonymous writer of the letter to the Pearls provides no documentation to support her claims. She seems to be referring to comments left on her blog but may also be referring to other blogs which have done negative reviews of the Pearl's book. Therefore, I want to make several things crystal clear about my review of the Pearl's book because it has been mischaracterized unjustly in the past. (Keer has also done an excellent review.)

My intention has never been to malign Michael or Debi Pearl but to examine what they wrote in light of their past writings and the Scripture. Nowhere in my review do I suggest that the Pearls promote abuse or that Debi is abused.

The subject of how to handle abuse, however, was a part of my review and caused quite a stir in the blogosphere. All I did was point out that the Pearls did not address the issue of abuse adequately and left too many questions unanswered -- questions that could make the book dangerous for some vulnerable women suffering under an abusive husband. I also pointed out that the book contradicts itself, Scripture, and the Pearl's website with respect to this and other issues. Doing a thorough analysis of someone's writing and asking tough questions is hardly what I call "nonsense" or "malicious."

It is the writer of the letter, in fact, who is doing the very thing that she accuses the blogs of doing. The writer makes negative statements and provides no supporting evidence. The Pearls accept her assessment as valid and trustworthy and then categorically dismiss dissenting bloggers' concerns as "nonsense" as if that makes the issues go away.

I am amazed that the Pearls do not answer the points raised in my (and others') blog reviews directly. Instead, they suggest we read someone else's blog who knows what they are like. It is of no interest or value to the issues at hand to know what their lives are like at home. I'd much prefer they address the serious issues raised by myself and others. Why are the Pearls dodging the questions and issues raised? This is unfortunate.

I have already been to Kathy Slayman's blog, having visited it the first time over a month ago. (As a part of the Homeschool Blogger team I try to visit many of the new bloggers.) There are only two entries, one dated August 2 and another dated August 11. Unfortunately, the "daily scoop" by those "in the know" isn't very helpful and doesn't clear up the serious issues raised about the Pearl's book.

Instead of providing idle gossip about the Pearl's personal lives (something Debi warns against in her book), perhaps Kathy will address the substance of the Pearl's book since the Pearls are not. I look forward to hearing her analysis and responses to the serious questions I and others have raised about the book -- based on facts rather than emotional appeals.

There are five parts to my review. Please see the sidebar under Best of Spunky - A Review of Created to be His Help Meet. Or click here for Part One and follow from there. Please read the comments as well. They say zero but there are loads of comments.

Note: This post has been revised from earlier today.

Update 9/26

Debi Pearl and Rebekah Pearl have both published another response at homeschoolblogger at Mercy in the Morning. I think that Rebekah's comments are the most enlightening about what the controversy is all about. Here's what Rebekah said and I believe encapsulates the heart of the matter. She said, I believe that there is a deep root-reason for much of the negative controversy over CTBHH. I believe the negativism lies in a misunderstanding in the doctrine of salvation and sanctification. Take the time to read all the comments especially Catez's comments. They are excellent.

Also note I am an independent contractor with The Old Schoohouse. The views expressed on this blog do not represent those of The Oldschoolhouse, homeschooblogger, or the publishers.


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