Friday, August 26, 2005

A Dissenting Opinion

To be fair and balanced in m blog I thought I'd give you a flavor for why people are also upset with what I wrote. This is a comment left under the Debi Pearl revisited post on my blog. But it represents many e-mails that I have received. I understand that this was just the commenter's opinion but if they felt strongly enough to write others probably feel similarly. So I thought I clear some of it up to the best of my abilities. (To be able to respond more easily, I broke up the comment. Her comments are in blue and mine are beneath it.)
It is quite apparent that you seem to have some sort of 'beef' with Mrs. know, when you write a book~the publisher is only going to print so many pages....... you cannot cover every human beings every particular situation.
I have no offense with her;. I do not know her. But I am reading what she has wrtitten and examining it in light of her past words and the scripture. She is required as a Titus 2 woman to teach that which is good. It is the responsibility of all of us to hold each other accountable. Mrs. Pearl holds us to a high calling I am only asking her to meet the same standard she has called us to. This book is self publsihed by No Greater Joy Ministries and not under the constraints of a publishers requirements. She was free to include as many pages as necessary.
I think that generalizations are used here.
The letter to Mr. Miller was not a generalization but very specific. If she wanted to make a general statement about a woman meeting her hsubands physical needs she could have done so without a specific letter and then accusing the women of blasphemy.
I also think that Mrs Pearl expects us to use our heads, folks.
That is eactly what I am doing when I examine her work.

Perfect example is this most recent post thrashing the Pearls.......

Why is it considered trashing the Pearls to examine what they write and compare it to past writings and the scriptures?

Spunky, you appear to be looking at this particular passage of writing thru the glasses of an angry feminist....
That is a personal accusation (albeit her opinion) and one I would ask you to support with something I have written. Again, I have said that I agree with some of what is written but that doesn't excuse the false teaching that is in the book. As a Titus 2 woman Debi is held to a standard of teaching that the bible requires. That is teaching that which is good.
Men "generally speaking" NEVER have a 'headache' or excuse to get out of their marital duties'.......thus her explanation.........
That may be true. However, adultery is a leading reason men lose interest in their wives. Debi doesn't consider this when she answers this woman. She also does not consider that the man has blasphemed. The scripture is not gender specific. If it is blasphemy for the woman, it is blasphemy for the man.

Women on the other hand ALWAYS (now, I am generalizing here, Spunky...) have some whiny, poor me, excuse as to why this that or the to their side of the 'marital duties' excuse ....thus her explanation.....
Women do often use poor excuses for refusing their husbands. And Debi is right to point that out. But from the letter to Mr. Miller she doesn't consider that the man may have issues (AIDS, cross dressing, etc.) that would lead to the woman's refusal. She accuses the woman of blasphemy without any detailed knowledge of the situation. That is not wise to do. Something Debi said she would not do in her earlier writing is make judgements based on one letter. Yet that is what she does.

I am not condoning abuse, or staying in a violent marriage (like the situation you listed above) & I respect your right to your opinion.......but I think you're really off here. In Him,
If you think I am really off in my review. I can appreciate that. Please hold me accountable. Where in my review do I err? I am willing to correct any errors in what I have said

I am not bothered by dissenting opinion. But if you disagree do so on the substance of what is said.

I'd also like to include here something Sparrow wrote on her blog,

Most people agreed that the book is negligent in its handling of domestic abuse ssues, but over and over the common argument in its defense is that we are supposed to discern for ourselves. "No teacher will ever be 100% accurate; we should keep the bad and throw out the good." "Have some common sense!" one woman exclaimed.

This is ridiculous. We don't expect the youngest and weakest members of the family (the body of Christ) to fend for themselves. We protect, shelter and teach them gently. We don't allow teaching in the church that is not careful and accurate or it may bring harm to them.That's why I said the book is a tragedy; any good is negated by the outright negligence to protect the weaker brothers and sisters. It should
be rejected.

That's sad, because we need good books on being godly wives. We need to have good examples of submission from women who don't apologize for it. Unfortunately, you need to look in a different book.

It is not my objective to sensationalize this issue or "stir the coop" but to directly answer those who feel that I am the one in error for posting my review on a blog and not just praising the helpfulness of this book.

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