I don't want to leave the impression that Steve was lacking in joy or that our marriage was in a state of total disaster. Neither was true. Our marriage had become one of habits born out of necessity (Steve's schooling) that continued out of complacency. We were comfortable in our current state even if it wasn't the ideal. (Hey, and when you're in control why question things too much!) I suspect that if things were allowed to continue as they were we would have drifted apart. Living parallel lives in the the same household.
But looking back, I can see God desired something more. Something better. Something only He himself can know and bring about. He wanted a heavenly marriage in much the same way that a gifted runner dreams of an Olympic gold.
I must make the sacrifices necessary to accomplish HIS goal. Just like many athletes, I could stay at "amatuer level" and be content or work hard and endure the costs and the prize. I realized I wanted an Olympic marriage. And the first part of the training required me to humble myself, wait for God and his appointed "coach", to give the next directive. And that's not an easy thing for someone who's used to being in charge to do!