Thursday, June 02, 2005

Husbands and Homeschooling

After the question of "What curriculum do you use?" the most often asked question is "What can I do to get my husband to lead our home?"

That is a tough question. But the short answer is nothing.

You cannot do anything to GET your husband to lead (that's God's job) but you can a few things that will KEEP him from leading. Here are a few things that a wife can do to keep her husband safely in his "corner of the attic".

1. Compare our husband to another man. Oh, if my husband would only be more like so an so's then things would be so much better around here. We're not married to "so and so" and so his faults are well hidden from view. You are married to the man you are. Accept that and learn to love who he is not who you want him to be.

2. Criticize his actions. I was chatting with my neighbor one day. She was lamenting how her husband never helps her around the house. Then a few weeks later she complained that her husband makes her life more difficult. How? When he folds the laundry he does it all wrong and she just has to do it over again! Can you blame the man for not helping! A critical spirit is a marriage and family destroyer.

3. Lead for him. Most women would not admit that they are actually leading the home. But we do. When our husband isn't doing what we think ought to be done we like to rush in and find a solution. After all, the children need to have devotions and if he's not doing it I must. The children need to see a mother willing to wait on the Lord for HIS leading than take matters into our own hands.

4. Seek the counsel of others before seeking his thoughts. Many times when we have a problem we will consult the latest "manual" on the subject, decide which method we like best, and move forward. When our husbands sugggest another idea it's too late, the experts have already spoken up and we're moving forward. A polished author will always make his solution sound the best and easiest. But let's give our husbands the respect they deserve. They will never lead if we are already following someone else's advice.

These are some tendencies I struggle to keep in check. I'm sure there are a few others we could add to the list. But the idea here is to see our husbands as the leader and then wait for him to lead. That is the hardest part. Fear and worry will rush in faster than a fighter jet ready for a battle and keep us from patiently waiting.

The scripture says in 1 Peter 3 "You will be like the Godly women of old if you do what is right and do not give in to fear." When a wife realizes the wisdom in waiting on the Lord to teach her husband how to lead there will be a rest in her heart that will quickly displace any fear.

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