Thursday, October 21, 2004

My First post

John Kerry's stand on issues would be laughable if the stakes weren't so high.

In his statement on abortion he says that he cannot deny to a poor person the right to do what the constitution affords them despite his Catholic faith. By that logic, I ask that John Kerry pay for my chocolate too. Certainly, chocolate is legal and if you talk to my husband at certain times can actually be medically necessary. I bet he'd get both the male and female vote for this one. But oh, what would that do to the national debt?

On gay marriage, Mr. Kerry feels the need to bring up the children of the candidates in order to make his point and Mary Beth Cahill, his spokeswoman, announced this was "fair game". Well, we have heard over and over again that obesity is also a tense issue that not only pinches our waistlines but also our health care system. I think we can all think of a few national candidates relatives that might be excellent spokeswomen for the cause. Oh, but Republicans aren’t supposed to say anything mean about the families of candidates, please forgive my insensitivity.

Speaking of health care, if John Kerry gets elected quadrapalegics will get out of their wheelchairs and walk again. Just ask John Edwards, he’ll tell you all about it. There won’t be a health care crisis because John Kerry has a magic cure. Of course he didn’t tell us what that was in his twenty years in the Senate he needs the Oval Office to disclose this secret plan. Forget President of the United States, I nominate Kerry to replace Jesus as the new Messiah. Oops, I broke another rule, Republicans cannot mention God. That would be invoking religion and make it a vast right wing conspiracy. God forbid I do that. Oops, there I go again. I just can’t help myself.

Moving along to matters of national security, he has stated that Bush rushed to war. After a twenty year liberal waltz in the Senate, one year probably does seem like a Texas two step. John Kerry also vowed to fight a smarter war. Well Mr. Kerry must be reaching genius status because he thinks it’s smart to bash our allies, vote against military spending, and call terrorists a nuisance like prostitution and gambling. Mosquitos are a nuisance too but I still prefer them dead not just behind bars.

All of this is excusable however because John Kerry won’t raise taxes on the middle class. Only those poor 'rich' people making over $200,000 a year. And guess what, you won’t have to fill out anymore tax forms either. How do I know this? If you happened to catch the second debate, Mr. Kerry could tell just by looking who makes over that amount. Boy, the elimination of the IRS now that’s a Presidential candidate worth considering. Now if I can just figure out how to look like I only make $199,000. Maybe Mr. Kerry has a plan for that too?

But what do I know, I’m just a mom with 6 kids stuck in the heartland. For those on the east coast who may not know where that it is…it’s that part of the country that must be convinced every four years and ignored the rest of the time.

In all seriousness, how can anyone take this man seriously.

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